The Resolution to the Recycle Can

After hearing on SUNDAY from both my councilman, Alex Wan, and the head of Atlanta's Solid Waste collection department, today I came home in the middle of the day to find a lovely surprise waiting for me on the curb:

It's brand new and both of the hinges are intact:

This whole thing was resolved in 24 hours after I stopped calling the department and did what Clark Howard calls:  Move up the Food Chain.  So for Atlanta's Department of Public Works, "as soon as possible" only has a definition if you go above the level of the call receivers.

Crocs and the Power of Writing a Letter

Writing letters (or in today's world, sending an email) can be very powerful.  Sending your thoughts to another person can serve many purposes.  Sometimes we want to effect a change, sometimes we want to give feedback, and sometimes we just want to vent.

I ordered a new pair of Crocs from Zappos.  The pair I've used has been around for about four or five years.  The toes are scuffed, but they have continued to serve their purpose - I wear them for gardening and house shoes - they are quick to slip into to take the dogs out first thing in the morning.

A few weeks ago my Crocs disappeared.  I looked in every closet.  I live in a tiny house and I looked in every room.  I had a memory of sitting somewhere to take them off and exchange them for the "real" shoes I was going to wear but for the life of me, I couldn't remember where I was sitting.  I looked everywhere.  I surmised either that I had left them by accident in the mountains a couple of weeks ago or that I had set them on an unlikely shelf that had not yet gotten my attention.

I do love them even though when I went to the beach several years ago with my nephew, I asked him if I looked cool enough in my new sunglasses to go to the beach with him.  "Well, Aunt Linda," he said in a matter of fact way, "The sunglasses are cool, but lose the Crocs."

Now I have succeeded in losing the Crocs and despite their uncoolness, according to Avery, I miss them.

So I went online to Zappos where I have ordered many a pair of shoes, found the basic navy Crocs I wanted, pushed the necessary buttons, shared the necessary PayPal information and ordered a new pair.  The very next day, the Crocs were sitting on my doorstep when I arrived home.

I opened the box to find that the Crocs waiting beneath the cardboard were not what I had ordered at all.  They were Black and Grey rather than Navy and not only that, they were a different style of Croc as opposed to basic Crocs which I had wanted.

I sent an email to Zappos:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I ordered classic crocs in navy - xxxxxxxxx is my order number.  My shoes arrived yesterday and I'll keep them but they are not what I ordered.  I ordered navy classic crocs and I received black crocs - I believe this is the shoe I received:
 Crocs Yukon sport in black/graphite.

They fit and will serve the purpose - I only use crocs as hangout in the house shoes, but your robot picked up the wrong box in selecting my order.

 I've ordered from you many times and this is the first time I've been disappointed.

 Linda T
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had seen a Wired article about the Bots that collect shoes on order from Zappos so I was amazed that I was the recipient of a failed "bot."  They report almost no failures now that Kiva is serving their fulfillment needs.

Here's the response I got from Zappos within 48 hours of my email as their customer service center had promised:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello Linda,

Thank You for contacting the Zappos.com Customer Loyalty Team. I hope this email finds you well!

I am so sorry to hear you received the wrong color Crocs (not to mention the wrong style). Since I am not a big fan of disappointing our awesome customers such as yourself I am going to send you a free replacement pair of Crocs in the correct style that you originally ordered. Your new order for the Navy Classic Crocs will arrive on Wednesday. Don't worry, there is no need to return the original pair of Crocs, you can keep them as a backup pair. You were not charged for the replacement order, I simply transferred your funds over to the new one.

To ensure you get the correct shoe this time, I have transmitted a message to our Warehouse-Bots to double check your order before it is shipped out.

In the meantime, I have also upgraded your account to VIP! This is completely free and entitles you to next business day shipping, expedited returns, and other perks. Be on the lookout for a separate VIP email for more information!

If you need any further assistance, please let us know! We are here 24/7 for the early birds, night owls, and everyone in-between. Have a great weekend!

Your Friendly Zapponian,
Jason C.
Zappos Customer Loyalty Team

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My email was intended to allow me to vent.  I expected nothing else - but now I will have a navy pair of classic Crocs which was my original wish.  

And today my granddaughter found my old Crocs under a piece of furniture that was easier for her to look under at 2 1/2 than for me!

Assertive Letter to Department of Revenue

The various tax collecting agencies can easily send me in an assertive letter writing direction.  This year my correspondence came from the Georgia Department of Revenue.

Their letter, complete with columns of numbers comparing what my tax return said I paid, what they show that they received, and the difference, is designed to demonstrate to me how I have made an egregious accounting error.

My check to them was for $1.00 less than my accountant reported on my tax forms, so rather than confuse the process for next year, I sent $1.00 to the state of Georgia, leaving my overpay from 2010 to apply to 2011.

What I wonder is how they could have $XX,XXX dollars floating around and not recognize an accounting problem on their part?

I feel angry that I have to take my time to ask the bank for a copy of the check front and back (it's done by email but still takes time); that I have to write this letter; and that I have to recognize how poorly accounting may be handled by my state.  However, it will do me no good to be angry in my response to the state.

In many assertive opportunities, it's more important to be assertive respectfully than it is worth it to be angry.

So I wrote them an assertive letter simply reporting the facts to correct their error.  The key word here is SIMPLE - when you are writing government agencies about money, always simply list facts and then what you would like to occur as a result of the facts you are reporting:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To Whom it My Concern:

I am in receipt of your letter dated 10/17/2011.  Your letter fails to include the taxes I paid on April 15 in anticipation of an extension.  I am enclosing a copy front and back of my check for $XXXXX which was cashed by you on April 25, 2011. 

I apparently owe you $1.00 which I am enclosing a check to cover.

Because my taxes were paid on time and in a timely way with an excess overpaid to apply to next year, I do not owe you the penalty and interest which you have assessed. 

Please find enclosed a check for $1.00 and a copy of my check cashed by you for $XXXXX.

Thank you for clearing up this matter,

Linda D Tillman, PhD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you write the IRS or your state department of revenue, you always enclose your SSN, which I did, but that is not apparent in my copy for you of this letter.  Also because I moved in 2011, I put my old and new address below my signature in case that is the source of their error (although my SSN stayed the same????).

Michelle and Merced: An Assertiveness Triumph

The students of the University of California at Merced wanted to invite Michelle Obama to speak at their graduation. It seemed difficult - this was their first graduation and there were only 500 graduates at this start-up university. They were undaunted and decided to speak up for themselves to reach their goal.

One of their most effective ways to speak up was to create a You-Tube video:



They set up a Facebook page for their "Dear Michelle" campaign and created a template for the letter they hoped the students would write to request that our First Lady speak to their graduation. Here's an example of one of the letters.

The key throughout the effort to speak up and ask Michelle Obama to be the commencement speaker was the use of RESPECT. You'll notice in the sample letter linked in the previous paragraph, that respect for her time and schedule is noted as the request is made.

Respect is the key to effective assertiveness. In this effort, however, respect was only one component. The students persevered with letter writing, Valentines, and video media to emphasize both their request and the importance of getting their wish granted.

They succeeded in their great effort to speak up for themselves and on May 16, Michelle Obama spoke at their graduation!

Buzzing Around a Bee Problem

For the past two years I have chaired a committee for the Metro Atlanta Beekeepers Association that provides "Goody Bags" for the short course we offer in beginning beekeeping every January. I requested a donation of items for the bags from the National Honey Board last fall. They gladly complied and sent me items donated for the bags.......

and have continually billed me for the items on a regular basis ever since. Each time I get a bill, I call and get it supposedly straightened out. Today I received a bill with a large red notice that said:
Final Notice Before Credit Bureau is Notified.

In assertiveness, the general policy to is to start with basic assertive statements, increasing the intensity as needed. Originally I called and said, "I'm confused. I requested that you donate these items to my club. Your representative acknowledged that this is something the National Honey Board is glad to do to support new beekeepers. To my surprise, I have received a bill for the donated items. I don't want to pay for items you donated to us."

That phone call included basic assertive statements:
"I requested that you donate.....
"I received a bill for the donated items.....
" I don't want to pay for the items.....

The second time I received a bill, a firmer assertive statement was warranted. In that phone call, I said, "We wouldn't request items from you for the goody bag, if we expected to be billed. We are promoting your organization by putting these items in our Goody Bag. I don't think I should be charged for your donation to promote your organization."

(Although this isn't exactly an escalating assertion, it does state rather directly that we would not ask them for items which we would have to purchase.) An escalating assertion has a consequence in it. This is mildly escalating because there is an implied consequence...no more support for their organization from our bee club, or at least from me as a Director on the board of the bee club.

Now not only is this the third time I have been billed, but the bill from the National Honey Board included a threat. Most situations escalate in a balanced way. The National Honey Board has threatened me, so I will respond at the same level by including in my letter an escalating assertion as well as a confrontive assertion.

I wrote the following letter which I will fax to the National Honey Board tomorrow:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
National Honey Board
11409 Business Park Cir
Suite 210
Firestone, CO 80504

July 14, 2008

Re: Invoice XXXXX

To Whom it May Concern:

I am a member of the Board of Directors of the Metro Atlanta Beekeepers Association in Atlanta, GA. Each year we hold a short course for upcoming beekeepers and each year we give the attendants at that short course a “goody bag” full of beekeeping items. Every year we request a donation from the National Honey Board of pamphlets appropriate for the Goody Bag.

I was chair of the Goody Bag project for 2007-2008. I called the National Honey Board in the fall of 2007, requesting that you donate something for the Goody Bag. The person to whom I spoke said that the National Honey Board regularly does this for clubs and would gladly send me some items. She asked how many I would need and I requested 65 items of whatever you chose to donate.

I received the items in December 2007. Since then I have received three bills for the items you supposedly “donated” to our short course. When each of the first two bills arrived, I called the National Honey Board and explained that you had donated the items. Each time I was assured that I didn’t need to worry about or pay the bill and that you would make sure that I was not billed again.

Today I arrived at home to find a bill stamped: Final Notice Before Credit Bureau Is Notified.

I feel deep regret that I ever called you to request your help with our short course. You told me yourself that you donated items to clubs for the purpose of short courses and would be glad to donate the items to me. Now you are threatening to report me to the credit bureau for not paying a bill that I do not owe.

If I am the chair of the Goody Bag committee again (I’ve done it for the past two years), I will not ever again request anything from your organization and I will not be speaking kindly of your group going forward.

Please CANCEL THIS BILL and do not even think of reporting me to the Credit Bureau. And since I keep receiving bills despite your continued verbal agreement that I do not owe the money, I would like a written letter to acknowledge that I do not owe this money.

Linda D Tillman, PhD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A confrontive assertion is one in which an agreement was made and the other party has broken the agreement. In this type of assertion, you state what the agreement was, how it was broken and what will be the consequence of the breaking of the agreement. You can find all of those in the letter.

I want the situation to end, so I requested a written response to my letter since speaking to them and receiving verbal reassurance does not work. Also if they do in fact report me to the Credit Bureaus for this $18.75 bill (!) I will have something to submit to the Credit Bureau to rebut their claim.

Another Internet letter to clear up confusion

In October, November and December, I received those "please renew now" notices that magazines send out regularly from one of my favorite magazines, Gourmet.

Meanwhile I noticed that on Amazon there were opportunities to subscribe to a number of different magazines at $10 for the year. I took them up on their offer and subscribed to Gourmet. My address is the same and I assumed that they would tack my new Amazon subscription on to the end of my current subscription as most magazines do.

Instead I began in January to receive two copies of the magazine each month. I thought it would stop after January, but the process of receiving two magazines has continued until now. So I decided to write an assertive letter.

Dear Customer Service,

I am very frustrated. I am getting two copies of Gourmet every
month since January. If there's an overlap of subscription renewal,
I thought you simply extended the subscription rather than send
duplicate magazines - it's a waste of paper and my money.

I received numerous notices to renew my Gourmet in the fall. At the
same time I found a bargain rate on Amazon.com. Thinking my
subscription was up in December, I renewed by using the Amazon
site. Now I get two copies of the magazine each month.

I scanned the two labels below. Please extend my subscription
rather than send me duplicates. I would like the extension to include
the four months of duplication which I did not ask for and which I
have paid for thinking I would get one magazine each month.

I love Gourmet and look forward to receiving it for the length of time
I have paid for through the renewal on Amazon.

Notice how the assertive statements are made as "I" statements. I don't question their intelligence or organization, but I do state what I'd like them to do to fix the problem. I ended positively because I do love Gourmet and want to continue subscribing.

I'll post when I find out how they handle this letter.

The Importance of White Space and Email

I've mentioned a number of times about assertive emails in these posts. In today's Internet world, often the rules of grammar take a back seat to the need for adequate attention. In email, employing white space effectively is part of writing an assertive email.

For example, if I am writing an email regarding a product purchased on the Internet, my request can be lost in the use of good grammar.

Re: Order # 450845408

Dear Sir:

The lamp I purchased from your website on April 20 arrived yesterday. When I plugged the lamp in and turned the switch "On", the bulb would not light. I have tried the lamp in several plugs with the same result. I have also changed the bulb in case the bulb I chose was defective. However, the lamp continues not to light. I would like you to replace the lamp with the same model as soon as possible.

Sincerely,

Good grammar would argue that all of the sentences in that email should be in the same paragraph. After all, each sentence is about the subject of the paragraph, the defective lamp.

However, in an email, effectiveness is increased with the use of white space to emphasize your points. People glance at email quickly and it helps if the parts you want to focus on are in stand-out positions on the computer screen.

So here's how it would look in an effective assertive form:

Re: Order # 450845408

Dear Sir:

The lamp I purchased from your website on April 20 arrived yesterday. When I plugged the lamp in and turned the switch "On", the bulb would not light.

I have tried the lamp in several plugs with the same result. I have also changed the bulb in case the bulb I chose was defective. However, the lamp continues not to light.

I would like you to replace the lamp with the same model as soon as possible.

Sincerely,

Now the important sentences jump off of the computer screen. Points that are made are separated from each other by the use of white space:

• The lamp arrived and it doesn't work
• I've tried all reasonable approaches to determine that the lamp is defective
  
• I want you to replace it.

Good luck with speaking up for yourself in email!

Assertive Email about an Internet Purchase

I ordered these wooden boxes from a site on the Internet. In order to build the boxes the dovetails have to fit together. As you can see the sides are cut exactly the same so there is no way for the dovetails to join.

I took these pictures of the problem and sent a letter to the company who sold me the boxes.

Dear XXXX Company,

I received my order this week and was very pleased to get it. I put together four of the medium boxes tonight.

When I got to the fifth box, the dove tails on the short sides and the long sides were cut exactly the same. In other words, they did not complement each other, so the pieces would not fit together. I'm attaching pictures so you can see the problem.

Please replace the box which was cut in error.

Thank you,

Linda T


The best assertive letters are very simple. This email is an example. I state the problem succinctly: "...the dove tails on the short sides and the long sides were cut exactly the same." I attached pictures to clarify any confusion about the facts to which I refer. Finally in a separate stand-alone sentence, I made a simple statement of what I want: "Please replace the box which was cut in error."

If in writing an assertive letter, you fill it full of non-essential detail, the reader is less likely to know what you want and less likely to address your need.

I'll post when I get either a replacement or a reply.

Talking to A T & T

My April resolution is to begin regularly posting assertiveness incidents on this blog again.

At the end of March on a Monday I arrived in my neighborhood to find my street blocked off by large trucks. My house is in a neighborhood which is a U of three streets off of a main road. So I turned around, went back to the main road, and entered on the other leg of the U. At the bottom of the U (my street) again there was yellow tape stretched completely across the street. I could see large trucks in front of my house, power lines lying in the street, lots of activity.

I walked up to my house to find that a gigantic tree had fallen in my neighbor's yard. Her tree fell away from her house into the street (a huge old oak tree), taking two telephone poles with it as well as the transformer box for our section of the street. Brown, gasoline-smelling liquid was in the street, flowing from the smashed transformer.

Of course, I had no power, the telephone lines had been pulled down (no phone, no computer) and my cable TV (which I couldn't run without the power anyway) was a downed line as well. I let the dogs out and promptly set up for a very dark night.

I put a candle and some matches on the bookcase by my door. I put candles in my bedroom. I got a flashlight and put it in my purse. Then I promptly left and went to dinner and a movie, hoping that the power would be back on when I returned.

Georgia Power worked into the night. I returned in the pitch dark, lit my way with flashlight and candles. I used my laptop for a while, borrowing an unsecured neighbor's wireless and then went to bed.

We didn't have telephone service until Wednesday, but all the work took place outside.

I got my telephone bill and was shocked that I had been billed $85.00 for "I&M labor basic mtnc - reprd" I don't pay for the inside wiring rip off charge that the phone company likes to bill thanks to Clark Howard's good advice. (see March 19, 2003)

I searched the AT&T webpage to find how to contact them and found an email link. I wrote:
"This repair involved all outside work - nothing inside - why is there a charge since it does not involve inside wiring and the repairs were the result of a tree falling on the line?"

This is a simple assertive statement: "This repair involved all outside work - nothing inside."

The question "Why is there a charge....." puts the ball in the lap of the other party and gives them all the power. However, I didn't want to be too pushy since I didn't know what "I&M labor" meant.

If I had been more assertive, I would have said, "I would like you to remove this charge since this repair was the result of a tree falling and involved absolutely no inside repair. I was not even at home while the repair was being done."

Today I was pleased to get an email from a nice person at AT&T responding that AT&T was removing the $85.00 charge. I would have liked either an apology or an explanation, neither of which I got, but I am pleased nonetheless. Dealing with a large corporation like AT&T is often a losing battle and this time I was the winner.

The ongoing Post Office Saga

Today I called the old Post Office to talk to Mr. Turner to find out why my mail hasn't been forwarded. He told me that because I rented an office in an ongoing business and didn't have a separate address from the business (although my mail came to me in my own name and not the name of the business), they would not be able to forward my mail.

He was very sweet and told me he would try to pull my mail and forward it to my new address, but they would be unable to do it in the usual way.

I went online to the feedback page and wrote the following assertive letter to the US Post Office:

I filled out an online change of address form when I moved my business to begin on July 27. I received a confirmation from the post office. When no mail was forwarded, I filled out a second online form. Again I received an email confirmation from the post office.

Mr. Turner at the old address post office 30xxx tells me that they cannot forward my mail because I was a renter in an established business.

I was at that address for 20 years and mail will continue to come to me there, despite every effort I make to change my address with people who send me bills and insurance companies who pay me. I am a psychologist and patients often recontact me after years of not seeing me.

I understand that because I rented an office room in XXXX XXXX Psychologists and did not have a specific suite number, the Post Office cannot forward my mail.

I would like this situation changed.

My mail should be forwarded to me.

In addition, I would like to have my credit card credited for the $2.00 you charged me when I changed my address online twice.

Linda T

Their automatic responder indicated that I should have a response in 1 - 2 days. Meanwhile, it sounds like sweet Mr. Turner at my old post office is going to try to help me get my mail. The very kind office manager at the old office will also hold mail for me to pick up.

For those of you learning about assertiveness, this letter is assertive because of several factors:
1. I make "I" statements to say what I have experienced and what I want to happen
2. In no way do I demean the Post Office or say devaluing things about their system
3. I chose to space the sentences in such a way that what I think is most important in the letter stands out (this is especially important in the email world of today in spite of how our English teachers may have taught us to put together paragraphs.)