Trump's (only) communication skill

President Trump has poor language communication but he does well in one nonverbal area. When he speaks extemporaneously without the advantage of a teleprompter speech written by someone else, he can't complete sentences. He puts phrases together in which the subject is often missing or unclear because he has changed the subject from when he starts a sentence until he reaches the end of it.

Here's an example from Time's interview with Trump:

Scherer (the interviewer): "So you don't feel like Comey's testimony in any way takes away from the credibility of the tweets you put out, even with the quotes?"
Trump: "No, I have, look. I have articles saying it happened. But you have to take a look at what they, they just went out at a news conference."

The first phrase, "No, I have, look." doesn't make any sense and doesn't answer the question. In the second phrase: "I have articles saying it happened.," who knows what "it" is related to. In the third phrase, who in the world is "they" and what does "they just went out at a news conference" mean?

He jumps all over the place when he is speaking without a teleprompter, and makes me feel like I am listening to Dory in Finding Nemo

His vocabulary of adjectives and adverbs is very limited and he mostly uses "biggest," "greatest,"
"best ever," etc. And I don't think he has uttered a single quotable sentence since he took office. I know, "Make America Great Again." but that was a campaign slogan that someone else thought up.

But there is one area in which he surpasses Barack Obama, who was an elegant speaker with command of the English language and who had the ability to put coherent thoughts together, unlike our current president.

Trump always ends his sentences with his voice going down at the end.

If you want to make your point, and in speeches he is reading, there generally is a specific point, lower your voice at the end as if your sentence is walking down stairs. This technique literally gives weight to the words you are speaking.

Here is Trump - notice how his voice goes down at the end of each sentence:

He asks some questions, "Have you seen any Russians in West Virginia?" and then his voice goes up appropriately. But every sentence he utters goes firmly down at the end.

Barack Obama often raises his voice at the end of sentences, potentially detracting from the power of his words. This is a clip of his best speaking moments - notice how often, even in these powerfully uttered words, he does not go down at the end of his sentences. In the first clips, he makes sentences that go down at the end, but in the middle segment, his words often rise at the end of the sentence.


To Barack Obama's credit, his words were so well put together and so powerful, it often made no difference that his voice tone rose at the end of his sentences. He exuded sincerity and honesty, unlike our current president who speaks in a chameleon way - changing his words to accomplish his goal of selling himself.

In Obama's speech at Selma, you might notice that his voice stays up at the end of sentences. This happens so much in the clip that I wondered if it may also reflect his audience in Alabama which would probably have included many people in the southern gospel tradition where one's speech often rises at the end.

Generally if you want to speak and be heard, there are three main things one must have:

1. Words that are well put together into coherent sentences
2. Sincerity and passion
3. A delivery that expresses the power behind your words, which in most cases, means that your words go down at the end of your sentences.

Taking a Stand

When an ice storm hits Atlanta, trees fall. 

Unlike many large metropolitan areas, Atlanta is filled with tall pines, old oaks, and streets lined with dogwoods.  An ice storm takes a heavy toll on the trees in every part of the city.

In our last ice storm several years ago, a tall pine near the entrance to my neighborhood cracked about three feet from the ground.  As it fell, the top of the tree caught on a small branch from an adjacent tree, leaving the pine leaning precariously toward the street at a forty-five degree angle.

I watched the tree, a huge gaping crack in its trunk, held up by a tiny branch, for three years, waiting for it to fall into the street.  I had so little belief in the tree’s ability to stay balanced on that branch that I drove in and out of my neighborhood by a different way.

In spite of the appearance of weakness and instability, the tree remained standing for three years.  Finally this year, the neighbor on whose property the tree had grown cut the tree down. 

I was greatly relieved.

Although the tree was an obvious presence, I had little confidence in its capacity to maintain its angled stance.  I did not trust its ability to hold its own.  I avoided it.

When people make assertive statements, but present a weak or off-balanced appearance, the listener is likely to disregard the power of the statement.  Just like the tottering pine, a person who is not standing on his/her two feet will look less effective and less able to maintain his/her position.

You’ve seen public speakers who, because they are nervous, shift back and forth from one foot to the other.  Their movements are distracting and disconcerting.  Sometimes I find I am watching the motion rather than listening to the speech.

“Don’t fidget,” Richard Gere admonishes Julia Roberts in the movie Pretty Woman.  While he is trying to make her look like a lady, he also is trying to help her maintain a positive presence. 

Try to become a keen observer of yourself.  Do you fidget? Are there habits such as playing with your hair or swaying back and forth that you use during stressful communication? Do you betray your fear of speaking up through your nonverbal indicators?

Nonverbal assertiveness is a powerful tool.  The words that you say are empowered or diminished by how you handle yourself physically.

When you are speaking, plant yourself firmly on both feet.  If you are seated, uncross your legs and put both feet flat on the ground.  Not only will you look more solid in your stance, but also your words will seem more powerful both to you and the listener.

The Weight of Your Words: Empowerment through Voice Tone

Speaking assertively is an art. Essential to that art is the use of voice tone.

I tell my students that your voice, in an assertive statement, should end with your tone going down at the end of your sentence. If you do not, then you will sound uncertain, less powerful, questioning your own stand.

A political year is a great time to observe this. I'm including in this post two videos - one of former President Bush and the second of President Obama. Both men are in press conferences dealing with difficult subjects. Listen to their voice tone through the taped conference.

Former President Bush was an interesting figure to listen to because he presented himself quite differently in voice tone in speeches than he did in press conferences. He had practiced speeches and had been coached. In speeches he generally sounded more confident. Why? Because in a speech he had practiced bringing his voice down at the end of the sentence.

He is asked hard questions in this press conference, which I believe took place in April 2007. Without the safety net of the practiced speech, you'll notice that his voice goes up at the end of the sentence. This makes him sound less sure of himself, somewhat defensive and does not make his audience feel confident in what he is saying.

He says things that should sound solid and confidential and instead his voice rises at the end of his sentences. In talking about the Iraq war, listen for him to say "We're going to succeed." with his voice going up as he says it. Then a few sentences later, voice rising again, he says, "I'm going to develop a plan that will help us achieve our objectives." But with that rise at the end, why should anyone believe that he believes he can do so. And so his approval ratings would decrease.



The press conference with President Obama took place in April 2008 when he had to disconnect with Reverend Wright. Obama is a polished speaker and speaks in general in a measured way. His voice often ends sentences down in a firm place. In this press conference at the beginning, his voice rises at the end of sentences. I imagine he was feeling a little defensive and less sure.

Suddenly he regains his voice and says, "...they certainly don't portray accurately my values and beliefs." With that phrase he asserts himself and his voice marches solidly down. This self confidence remains evident through the rest of the press conference.



Listening to the news media is another way to observe the power of voice tone. Most of our TV reporters have been trained to do this and as you listen observantly, you'll notice that they bring their voices down at the end of sentences.

While public figures give us ample opportunity for observation of voice tone, where it counts for each of us is in being aware of how we each employ the empowerment of our voice tone.

When you let your voice go up at the end of the sentence, you sound uncertain. If a person frequently ends on an up note, that person may be characterized as "whiny." A tiny child whines because he/she doesn't believe he/she can get what they want. By the same token a grownup who doesn't believe he/she can get what he/she wants, will sound whiny if their voice goes up at the end.

Get someone to listen when you are under pressure and give you feedback about your use of voice tone.

Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as Communication Barriers

In speaking up for yourself, the key element as I have frequently mentioned is RESPECT. If the communication between people is lacking respect, then the assertive connection will not happen.

John Gottman in Seattle, WA, has done extensive research on couples' relationships and has determined that there are four very destructive elements that can wreak havoc in a relationship. These he calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, in a Biblical reference. In the Bible the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are the precursors of destruction to come. In a relationship, Gottman says his four horsemen also are precursors of relationship destruction to come.

The Four Horsemen are: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Because each of these "horsemen" are ways to react to your partner without respect either for yourself or the other person, they also apply to being assertive.

When you criticize the other person, you attack the other person's character, usually with the goal of pointing out how the other person is wrong in some way. This is usually experienced as demeaning and disrespectful.

When you use contempt, the word by definition means that you are looking down on the other person. If you are employing such disregard for the other person, you are not acting out of respect. Respect requires that you assume that the other person is worth knowing, and if you remove the respect and look down on the other person, the assertive connection is lost.

When you are defensive, the communication is broken because you are focused on convincing the other person that you are too right or that you did NOT make a bad decision, etc. When you move into defensiveness, you in effect erect a wall between yourself and the other person, disrupting the possibility of connection. In essence, the defensive person pulls for the other person to take care of him/her, disregarding the issue at hand.

When you are stonewalling, you are not open to any other view than your own. Again, this is not respectful because you are not allowing the possibility that the other person may have something to contribute that is of value. Usually stonewalling includes withdrawing from the relationship in a passive pull to get the other person to come over to your way of thinking. Stonewalling may also be used to avoid conflict.

Note: these four horsemen may be present nonverbally as well as verbally.

• Criticism can be demonstrated non-verbally by shaking one's head "No" as the other person is speaking.
  
• A prime demonstration of contempt is to roll one's eyes. Eye rolling implies that you have disdain for the other person.
• Defensiveness can be read non-verbally if a person looks as if he/she is backing away or mentally warding off a blow
• Stonewalling can occur non-verbally by leaving the room, refusing to speak to the other person, or muttering under your breath.
  

So in order to have an effective assertive connection, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, as described by Gottman, cannot be present, either in how you act or what you say.